


Lollipops Will Grow In Your Garden

by orange_8_hands



Series: Nails and Teeth [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Gen, Humor, POV Female Character, Season/Series 02, Toys, Wordcount: 1.000-3.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-04
Updated: 2012-03-04
Packaged: 2017-11-01 02:51:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orange_8_hands/pseuds/orange_8_hands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So Deanna Winchester may have, kind of, at one point, loved My Little Pony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lollipops Will Grow In Your Garden

**Author's Note:**

> I’m pretty sure this has been done before, and probably better, but it’s not like you can have too much My Little Pony showing up in random fandoms. Also, [this is Tootsie](http://mylittlewiki.org/wiki/Tootsie).
> 
> Stand alone for the verse.

So Deanna Winchester may have, kind of, at one point, loved My Little Pony.  
  
Shut up. She was five.  
  
(Okay, nine.)  
  
That did not mean, however, finding a one-foot version of Tootsie in her motel room was cool.   
  
More like really, really fucking wrong. Ponies should not be one foot tall. Ponies should not be yellow with blue hair and have lollipop tattoos on its flank. Ponies should not be standing by their weapons bag nosing it like it has fucking carrots in it.  
  
"Oh my God, is that a My Little Pony?" Sam shrieks, moving next to Dee, and normally she'd be shoving Sam back behind her because hello, supernatural entity in the room, let's not make yourself a bigger fucking target than you already are Sammy, but seriously, its mane was neon blue. It didn't even reach her knees.  
  
_It had lollipops on its ass._   
  
"This seriously cannot be fucking happening," Dee mutters as Sam squeals and shrieks and makes her way over to the pony, who like a dog starts to lick Sam's hands and sniff around her pockets for what Dee is hoping is for treats and not actually inter-species sexual advances.  
  
"Aw, aren't you cute, aren't you just the sweetest, yes you are," Sam coos at it, and the pony fucking _purrs_ . Dee manages to jam her fingers to her eyes to block the pony’s tongue trying to lick off Sam’s face, but that doesn't stop the noise and oh God, what happened to pissed off poltergeists trying to throw them into walls? "You're so pretty, what a pretty pony, yes you are," Sam continues, and Dee heroically manages not to throw up.   
  
"I'm gonna call Bobby," she says, and leaves Sam and Tootsie (and no, she is not mentioning that she remembers the pony's fucking name) and kind of hopes the pony develops fangs and tries to eat Sam, because then at least Dee can shoot it without Sam's epic puppydog eyes making an appearance for trying to kill a beloved childhood toy, or a defenseless animal, or all of Sam's hopes and dreams for a better world with more rainbows. (Also, it means Sam will stop cooing. She's willing for Sam to get a little maimed in pursuit of that goal.)   
  
She takes out her phone because when she doesn't know what the fuck is going on, and can't find it in Dad's journal (and no, she doesn't have to check to know this, because this is something Dad would have mentioned, out of all the fucking secrets Dad liked to keep her in the dark for he would have told her if My Little Ponies were running around being fucking real because Sam won't remember but Dad would have that all of Sammy's My Little Ponies were once Dee's, not to mention Sam's read the fucking journal and would have mentioned coming across an entry about _My Little Pony_ ) she calls Bobby, but as she starts to dial the last digit she realizes _she's calling fucking Bobby_ .  
  
Yeah, no. No fucking way is she telling Bobby about a yellow, blue-maned, one-foot tall pony. (She can't even think about the lollipops on its ass and Bobby's name in the same sentence. Not enough therapy in the world.)  
  
Which, fine, Dee knows she's not winning any awards for the major categories of human decency (or, you know, even in the running), but she knows how to hunt, if there's one thing she knows how to do it's fucking hunt. So she and Sam will go do the research thing (and whatever, Sam, just because she doesn't like to sift through ten tons of books doesn't mean she can't research) and then Dee will shoot it, or burn it, or say some weird Latin chant over it, whatever, and then Dee can drink a lot of alcohol and pretend this never, ever happened.  
  
She opens the door and sees Sam with a My Little Pony sprawled on her lap getting its head scratched and Jesus fuck _how is this her life?_  
  
**  
  
"I'm really not finding anything about kid toys coming to life," Sam says four hours later. The pony is at the foot of the bed sleeping because apparently eating through the bowl of apples and carrots Sam made her buy it was tiring sort of work, and every time Sam glanced over at it with a fond, sad smile Dee feels a flash of hatred, because she was there every single fucking time Sam asked for a dog and Dad had to tell her no, she was there after fucking Flagstaff when Sam had to say goodbye to the golden retriever she adopted during the three minutes (seventeen days, seventeen missing days) she was gone for, she was there for the two months they lived next door to a dog park and the three weeks after they moved when Sam wouldn't speak to either of them. They did not need this shit, especially when it wasn't even a fucking _dog_ . This was a hunt. Maybe not a completely evil hunt, but Dee couldn't let a fucking My Little Pony wander around and she definitely wasn't sticking that thing in her baby so Sammy could just suck it the fuck up and deal with having to toast it.  
  
Sam glances back over to her with a raised eyebrow, and Dee shakes her head. The wendigo - aka the reason they were in this stupid fucking town in the first place - couldn't have had anything to do with this, but Dee had to be thorough and check just on the off chance it wasn't a case of the weirdest supernatural adoption ever. (She also checked Dad's journal, but no ponies or other Hasbro toys ever graced his motel room like the worst fucking present ever.) Dee really wishes she had just packed up so they could leave from the diner they went to for breakfast after a successful night of killing a wendigo, but they didn't have a case on the wire, only a vague idea of heading east, and check-out wasn't for another three hours so Dee figured getting in an extra nap never hurt anybody.  
  
Worst. Decision. Ever, and she's including the time she thought going to a donkey show would be fun.  
  
"Maybe you should try Bobby," Sam says, obviously fighting a smile. Dee had simply said Bobby wasn't available and it was a weird message to leave on his voicemail ("Like we haven't left weirder, Dee?") and she'd call him back, but she's pretty sure Sam knows the real reason, and she definitely will once Dee finishes delivering the epic promises of pain if Sam breathes a word to Bobby (or anyone) about this case when they're done.  
  
But first they had to be done, and oh fuck the pony was waking up.  
  
It seems content to just stretch and lie there for awhile, Sam looking at it like it was the most precious thing in the world, and Dee rubs her hands over her face because it was, maybe, just slightly, a little cute, and there was not enough horror in the world for Dee to express how wrong that thought was.  
  
The pony comes over and lays its yellow head on Sam's knee (barely able to reach it because apparently she gave too many vegetables to Sam as a kid) and Sam scratches behind its ears. "Do you need to go out?" Sam asks it, and if Dee thought her sister cooing at it was bad, that gentle voice was a thousand times worse. She is suddenly vividly reminded Sam and Jesse had once talked about how many kids they wanted.  
  
She wants to find a bar. Right the fuck now.  
  
"I really don't think you can say its a dog in costume," Dee says, because it's bright afternoon still, and there's probably people wandering around out there, but the pony seemed fine watching Sam with its big blue eyes. Apparently ponies had their own version of puppy dog eyes. And digestive tracks.  
  
"Maybe it's a shifter," Dee adds, even though it barely makes sense for a shapeshifter to change into an animal, much less a plastic, neon-colored version of one.  
  
"Maybe it's a witch," Sam offers, brows furrowed, obviously thinking. "I mean, that's the only thing I can think of who would turn a toy into something living."  
  
"Wouldn't the pony be trying to kill us with its hooves?"  
  
"Well, maybe it's a good witch."  
  
"Why would a good witch need a My Little Pony?"  
  
Sam rolls her eyes. "Why would a bad witch need a pony? The witch has the mindset of a nine year old."  
  
"Or you," Dee says, but Sam's eyes are opening wide, like she does when she has a Solve The Case Thought.  
  
"Dee," she says, smiling, "It's probably a just a kid who read some chant without knowing what it was when she was playing with her ponies." She nods, pulling her laptop closer to her. The pony opened one eye when the petting stops, sees Sam's attention focused elsewhere, and flops down to the motel carpet.  
  
"Um, that's a great theory, Sam," Dee says. "But how are we supposed to find the fucking kid?"  
  
**  
  
There was no way they could break into every school and shrink's office to search every file for a mention of some kid who made a real life My Little Pony, assuming the kid even talked about, assuming the kid even knew she did it (the pony, after all, was in their room), assuming Sam's theory was right and it even was a kid. (Just because she did the Solve The Case Thought eyes did not mean the case was actually solved.) Likewise they could hardly track down every bought Tootsie (and no, Dee wasn't stupid, she let Sammy look up all the different My Little Ponies until she found the matching one and then Sam said "Tootsie?" and the pony licked her), because the pony was from like the early 1980s and that was a lot of fucking sold ponies and Sam was not actually that great at fucking hacking into store databases from over twenty years ago.  
  
Mostly, Sam was typing away at the computer like she could find something and Dee was sharpening their knives and not actually threatening the pony (whatever she said while Sam was in the bathroom didn't count) when the room's phone rang.  
  
"House of Sexual Pleasure, what's your kink?" Dee answers, because this wasn't the hunting cell phone and the manager was kind of an asshole when they checked in. Sam throws her a bitchface (#7, aka you're-so-fucking-gross), which looked a little weird because it kept melting away to goo whenever her eyes catch on the pony next to Dee (and yes, Dee sat there on purpose, despite what everyone thought she wasn't actually stupid.)  
  
"Um, well, uh, dirty talk?" The voice sounded like a twelve year old girl. "I haven't really had much sex yet so I don't think I've discovered all my sexual turn-ons. But dirty talk seems like a good place to try out."  
  
Okay, it turns out an animate My Little Pony was not the weirdest thing she was going to have to deal with today.  
  
"What the fuck?" Dee asks, because Dee never got the lesson about censoring yourself for young children's ears.  
  
"Yeah, um, hi, my name is Brenda. I think you may have my pony?"  
  
"No, seriously, what the fuck?"  
  
"Um, this may be easier to explain in person. Can you come by?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Oh good. That'll be very helpful." The girl - Brenda - gives Dee an address, and then just before she hangs up, adds, "And don't forget to bring Tootsie."  
  
"Well?" Sam asks, all bitchfaced and annoyed. "What was that about?"  
  
"Hey, so I found our witch," Dee tells her, and Sam's face slides to the pony and then away and she looks like she did when Dee would drag her away from the dog park and Dee's pretty sure she hasn't done anything to deserve this.  
  
(Well, Sam hasn't, at least.)  
  
**  
  
Dee only put the throwing knives back because Sam was giving her a combination of Bitchface #47 (aka why-do-you-always-try-to-solve-your-issues-with-disproportionate-violence-you-fucked-up-woman-you) and #123 (aka why-must-you-play-with-your-weapons-when-I'm-being-emotionally-sad-when-will-you-learn-empathy-you-jerk), but she keeps the extra guns because it's a witch. Dee has met some pretty cool witches over the years (including the ones in her one and only foursome), but all the ones she comes across on hunts usually think her intestines would make a good ingredient for their latest spell, and she's not taking a chance because the voice sounded like a kid and so far Tootsie was not, in fact, evil.   
  
They pull up to a Victorian house and out comes some teenage blonde, and Sam opens the door where Tootsie is straining to get out (she can't believe the fucking pony was on her baby's _seats_ ) and then Tootsie bows to the girl and the girl presses her fingers to the pony's forehead and suddenly the pony is made of plastic.  
  
"Oh," Sam says, fucking _disappointed_ , but Dee could kiss the girl. Pony was alive, pony is now plastic, problem solved, let's get the fuck out of here before something else happens.  
  
"Um, if one of you can pick her up and bring her inside please?" Brenda asks, and Sam gingerly lifts up the one foot tall toy and they follow the girl into the house, who does introductions and offers them water they decline before sitting down on the couch to explain.  
  
"So, see, I'm a witch" - Dee does not roll her eyes and say _duh_ and why does Sam never give her any points for that? - "and I was practicing yesterday night and I kind of cast a spell that turns all the toys I touch alive and it turns out it really isn't as cool as Toy Story made it seem."  
  
Sam's mouth twitches because technically she was right (even if she didn't find the actual kid witch) and Sammy is a prideful bitch, but Dee has more important concerns. "Okay, but why was it in our room? And how did you know it was in our room?"  
  
"Well, she kind of ran off, but I did a locator spell and found your motel room and called the front desk to patch me through."  
  
"You let a pony run off?" Sam asks, in the same voice one uses to ask if you were boiling kittens alive. Dee was busy not thinking about a. why a My Little Pony went to _them_ (Sam emoted all over the damn place, it was probably attracted to that level of girl) and b. how it got into their room _without_ _opposable thumbs_ .  
  
The girl looks offended. "I didn't mean to! It's not like they have thumbs to open doors!" (Not thinking about it.) "How was I supposed to know a My Little Pony would prance off?" Then her face scrunches up. "How are you not more freaked out, anyways?"  
  
So Sam launches into her standard spiel and Brenda the Incompetent Witch talks about spell work and at one point they may have sung kumbaya as Brenda agrees she needed more help and should probably take a break from her spells and Sam admits the pony was really cool and Dee works really, really hard on repressing this all from her memory.

And if a Care Bear shows up in their next motel room she's just gonna fucking waste it.

**Author's Note:**

> I swear, one of these days I’ll write a case fic that doesn’t just fizzle out. Also, My Little Pony and the Care Bears were AWESOME.


End file.
